Diary of a Black Sheep Part 2

I can’t believe it’s been so long between my posts! Time has been flying by so fast this year.

I wanted this entry to be about something that’s been on my mind the past few days and it has to do with how we value other people’s feelings compared to out own. I think we all know about narcissism and have either had to come to terms with our own self-centered ways or been subjected to someone else’s.

Today though is the flip side of the coin where we have people in our lives that we are trying to keep “happy,” but when did their happiness become more important than our own? Isn’t a healthy relationship a give and take and both people should be allowed their own happiness?

This came up in a conversation recently with a family member and it didn’t have the warm and fuzzy response that I was hoping for. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it, I have already had some experience with this with other family members. The term “black sheep” for me is oddly fitting in more ways than one 😉

What I’m learning through this process though is that my happiness and how I feel is just as important as anyone else’s in my life. What I think of something and my opinion is equal weight to there’s and is actually more important when it comes to my decisions.

I’ve decided that in my life I am going to be much more honest about how I really feel and how I really see my relationships; because that, to me, is what real relationships are. That may mean that other people around me disagree with my choices or that they don’t acknowledge me or that they acknowledge the problem, but refuse to change. As painful as that can be, I am at the point in my life where I am no longer accepting second-best relationships, I am willing to put the work into those that I have, but only if I can be met halfway as well.

What I think I’ve taken away from this experience is that you really need to learn and uphold your self-worth in relationships. It does not matter if these are friendships, family members, work, or romantic. You are worth hearing, You are worth working with. You are worth loving. There’s a time to put energy into a relationship and self reflection, we can always improve our selves, but there is also a time to acknowledge where you are in your life and relationships and decide you want something more or you want something different.

 

Glam Goth Decor Bathroom Addition

As I’ve talked about before I’ve been redoing my space. My favorite has been updating my bed room…I swear it’s almost done, just a few more paychecks and pieces to go 😉

What I have found to be an actual challenge is: How does someone make a glam/goth/minmalistish bathroom? Is this impossible? Let’s do it.

First I wanted to show you the fanciest piece.20171118_162604.jpg20171118_162612.jpg20171118_162617.jpg

To achieve this all you need is :

1 mirror, I chose an octagon shape from Michael’s for $5-6.

1 skull shaped cup/jar I also got this from Michael’s, but you could get a skull shaped mason jar off of Amazon or Ebay and it would work just as well

2 boxes of the fake diamond fill (also from Michael’s) $5

1 rhinestone soap dispenser, I got mine from HomeGoods, but I’ve seen them at Bed, Bath and Beyond

1 black soap dispenser, this one is from Target and I use it for lotion 🙂

and the optional hand held mirror that I’ve had a long time and just repainted. Also, my all-black makeup brushes are also from Target and are Elf brand 😀 Personally, I love the eye shadow blender blush and the eyebrow one!!

 

Fun Finds #1: Letter Writers Alliance

I used to love writing letters and notes to my friends (Nerd level +500 points and I said it on the Internet +50). Passing notes was my favorite part of middle school/beginning of high school. I even convinced my friends to pass around a notebook that we would write to each other in (Very much inspired by Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) and in college I would write to one of my friends until we started taking classes together. I really started missing it a few months ago and so I took to the Internet (like any other millennial).

And then I found it…Letter Writers Alliance (https://www.letterwriters.org/), they were mentioned in several articles that listed letter-writing clubs. Unfortunately, many of these articles were years old, the links didn’t work, some of the clubs are disbanded, but I went down the lists until I found these guys. Lifetime membership with them is $5.00 (6 with tax) and then they join you to other letter-writing-loving peeps with other similar interests.

How it works is that after you sign up you get assigned to someone that you write to first and someone is also assigned to write to you first. LWA does their best to match you with people of a similar age/interests and you can sign up for as many as you want.

So far I have four, 3 national and 1 international. Everyone I have met so far has been really cool and I’m really excited to get to know them more.

Before signing up with them I did go ahead and open a PO Box….I’m paranoid…sorry. Which I actually find kind of fun (nerd level +5000 points) because I wait until the end of my work day and I look forward to it…leave it to me to make going to the post office feel like a special occasion!

I’m really thankful to the founders of LWA, they obviously work hard for a minimum fee and they gave me a way to continue doing something I love while meeting some cool peeps! Check it out 🙂

Happy Writing

 

Nerd Level By End of this Post : 5550 points 😉

 

Book Review #1 The Complete Stories by Franz Kafka

I remember my first introduction to Kafka, I was a senior in high school and had to read Metamorphosis which was weird, uncomfortable, and really dark. More than anything though, it was unique and utterly unforgettable.

During an adventure I took to Charleston, South Carolina (more on that later), I picked up his Complete Stories at the College of Charleston’s Barnes and Noble.

After one month, I finally finished it and my first thought was: “My head hurts.” I was spinning. His stories had a similar quality to James Joyce’s Dubliners (another must read in my opinion) in that they are all fast paced and some just seem to have abrupt endings with no real sense of closure. Kafka, however is able to make you feel the anxiety and racing thoughts he must have had. His stories have moments where they are really incoherent, ideas seem to run across the page, some lead to another, some don’t seem to lead to anything. Why read it then? Because he is able to let you into his mind and see his reality. Sure it isn’t probably isn’t yours and it isn’t mine, but he is able to show you around his world and make you feel what he felt and in this sense, I think he is a very gifted writer.

Would I suggest this as a casual tea-sipping Saturday read? Absolutely not. Nor do I think it is a good introductory piece into literature (maybe The Metamorphosis, A Country Doctor, and Investigations of a Dog are the exceptions). However, I would suggest it to the intermediate-advanced nerd (nerd is a loving term here). Especially if you like psychology (you can psychoanalyze Kafka for DAYS) and if you already have some experience reading drier material…Like Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Plato’s Republic.

 

Happy Reading!