Diary of a Black Sheep Part 2

I can’t believe it’s been so long between my posts! Time has been flying by so fast this year.

I wanted this entry to be about something that’s been on my mind the past few days and it has to do with how we value other people’s feelings compared to out own. I think we all know about narcissism and have either had to come to terms with our own self-centered ways or been subjected to someone else’s.

Today though is the flip side of the coin where we have people in our lives that we are trying to keep “happy,” but when did their happiness become more important than our own? Isn’t a healthy relationship a give and take and both people should be allowed their own happiness?

This came up in a conversation recently with a family member and it didn’t have the warm and fuzzy response that I was hoping for. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it, I have already had some experience with this with other family members. The term “black sheep” for me is oddly fitting in more ways than one 😉

What I’m learning through this process though is that my happiness and how I feel is just as important as anyone else’s in my life. What I think of something and my opinion is equal weight to there’s and is actually more important when it comes to my decisions.

I’ve decided that in my life I am going to be much more honest about how I really feel and how I really see my relationships; because that, to me, is what real relationships are. That may mean that other people around me disagree with my choices or that they don’t acknowledge me or that they acknowledge the problem, but refuse to change. As painful as that can be, I am at the point in my life where I am no longer accepting second-best relationships, I am willing to put the work into those that I have, but only if I can be met halfway as well.

What I think I’ve taken away from this experience is that you really need to learn and uphold your self-worth in relationships. It does not matter if these are friendships, family members, work, or romantic. You are worth hearing, You are worth working with. You are worth loving. There’s a time to put energy into a relationship and self reflection, we can always improve our selves, but there is also a time to acknowledge where you are in your life and relationships and decide you want something more or you want something different.

 

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